i just don't know. sometimes i just want to quit this blog and wait to see if anyone notices. i'm not needy or anything, but it seems like every time i get on here, i look at the comments tab and see nothing new. it just makes me wonder if i actually have readers or not. granted, that makes no difference [or at least i tell myself that], the readership level is not the point. but it does keep me motivated. that's why i want to quit to see if people will notice, ask about it, see how i'm doing. i think that maybe if i didn't blog what i was doing each day, or each week, people may ask me more often and try to interact on a personal level. that makes me want to quit, just to see.
but then my o.c.d. gets the best of me.
'cause i know i'd get tired of not blogging after a while and come back and want to do it again, and then i'd see this whole month or so of emptiness and either never come back or want to catch up and blog days upon days worth of drivel. nobody wants that. so you get this instead. you get me telling you that i want to stop, instead of me actually stopping. will it have the same effect? of course it won't. will it encourage people to maybe talk to me more or ask how i'm doing or care verbally? maybe, but probably not. i may be a pessimist, but it's almost always with good reason. people will get by with the bare minimum most of the time, and it takes effort and the capacity for extraordinary behavior to be a friend.
and that's probably why i don't have many friends.
I actually had not read this post before I posted that comment on the other post. But since the comment I left would have been more appropriate here, I'll repeat... Just so you know, I do read these periodically.
ReplyDeletethat's funny. ;-D thanks for reading, cameron. it means a lot to me.
ReplyDelete